On the Record: My Cats Interviewed Me

I didn’t know there was an “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, but lo and behold there is – January 22. My cats are obviously lobbying someone behind my back. There’s no question they are behind this event because they have an opinion about everything and thus no doubt would jump at the chance to question me!

So, below are what I would consider their most pertinent questions to be.

The Cats: Why are you so impatient when I stand in a doorway and can’t decide whether I want to go in or out?

Sandy: We are all allowed an occasional moment of indecision, but you do this every time I open the door to the upstairs balcony. In the winter months it’s cold. I know that in the end you are not going to go out there and get wet anyway. I’ve worked out that if you do this once a day and the average you spend pondering going in or out is three minutes, that’s 21 minutes a week and more than 13 hours a year you spend in the door way of indecision. That’s more than 13 extra hours we could spend playing.

The Cats: Why do you burrow under the blankets at 3:00 am and refuse to play with me? I’m nocturnal. It’s in my DNA.

Sandy: I would be more than happy to change my routine around if you would consider getting a regular job to pay the mortgage, get up in the morning to make breakfast and better still, do a few chores – like clean your litter box every morning.

The Cats: I am allowed on some of the kitchen counters. So why won’t you let me sit on the table when you have dinner?

Sandy: You are not allowed on the kitchen table for two reasons, actually. One has to do with your health. People food is for people and cat food is specially balanced for cats. But more importantly, I know that if you lived in the wild you would eat your food with fur on it. But I don’t like fur sprinkled with Parmesan cheese on my lasagna. Besides, I don’t have capacity to toss up hairballs like you do.

The Cats: Why don’t you like me drinking the water in the glass you put on your nightstand every night?

Sandy: Actually, unlike most people, I don’t really mind sharing my water glass with you if you would take a sip and go back to sleep. But you play with it with your paw – the very same paw you use to scratch in your kitty litter. Ewww.

What do you think your cats are trying to ask you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Happy Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day!

Photo Credit: From flickr by International

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